Self Reflection is hard. But, it should be done. Here are five lessons to reflect on after the 2016 Election.
After one of the most historic political seasons in US history, I am taking some time to think about about what I have learned over the last two years. Continue reading “5 Lessons to Reflect on after the 2016 Election”
Each lesson is an opportunity to understand myself and the world a little bit better.
November is here! Where has this year gone.
The older I get the more I understand the saying that time flies. It really does. The steady march of time is the most constant reality of the human experience.
I look back over this year and I am just amazed. I am amazed at how much has happened—the Cubs are in a World Series! And I am amazed at how little has changed—I still feel the same as I did on January 1. Continue reading “Time Marches On”
The movie Sister Act is a great movie. I know there maybe some who would not agree. And that would be alright. I have watched the movie many times over the last few years. There are a couple of scenes in particular that really speak to me as it relates to faith and the living out of faith. Continue reading “Reflections on a Motion Picture | “Out Of Bed You Daisy Head””
My family and I were enjoying some time together and we rented We Bought A Zoo. I have to tell you, this is not my type of movie. Not something that I would go out of my way to get, but when you have little kids you get movies that they can watch too. (Warning: Even though it is PG there is some cussing in it. So just be aware.)
The title gives away the premise of the movie and I do not want to spoil the plot because you need to get the movie and watch. But, there is a moment when the main character, Benjamin Mee, and his son, Dylan, are talking about Dylan’s crush. He has messed up and missed an opportunity to build a relationship with Lily. Benjamin’s advice was so good that I had to say something about it.
Just think about it. How long is twenty seconds? Count it off…
That really is a lot longer than you think. And there are so many ways that we could apply this. But, the one that comes to mind is that this is plenty of time to share Jesus with someone. Something can be said that can provoke the hearer to consider someone they may never have taken seriously before.
Evangelism has never been one of my strong areas. It is something that I have to consciously work at and do. I can feel my heart rate increase, my blood pressure start to rise. I get sweaty palms and the uncontrollable urge to say something stupid. None of these things are excuse enough for me to fail in doing the single more needed thing in the life of those that do not yet know Jesus as Lord and Savior.
Twenty seconds. A small window to make a very big difference because you just never know. Just some thoughts from a pretty good movie.
Last Friday evening I spent some time with a good friend as he prepared to marry his future bride. It was great. I have had the pleasure of being a part of several weddings in the course of my ministry. But tonight I was struck by one of the many rituals that we have in our culture during weddings. The wedding rehearsal went well. Then the entire wedding party went to a nice dinner at a local restaurant. Everything was just going splendidly. Then came the moment of the night that stood out.
As the evening was drawing to a close the time for speeches began. Now, it would be very bad form to badmouth the bride or groom. But, I am sure that in the history of humanity and in the history of weddings somebody has made this terrible choice. Well, we were all spared this on Friday night.
It is a wonderful moment to witness when two people are the recipients of love through kind words. Family and friends were saying true things about the couple. They were sharing memories and experiences. It was a wonderful time to see how God had been at work, and how God has brought these two individuals together.
What I wonder sometimes is why do we wait for “special” occasions to say true things? Isn’t every moment spent with those we care for a special enough time to share and encourage and demonstrate our love? I was reminded of this on Friday. I want to do better at telling people what they mean to me. I hope you will do the same.
On Wednesday night David Austin Balfour, a member of my high school graduating class, died in a car accident.
Since I heard about David’s death I have had this gnawing feeling in my gut. It’s one of those feelings that just won’t go away. When these kinds of events happen I can’t help but think about it. And when the event includes something that just doesn’t make sense I really have to try and make some sense of it. I have to think about it over and over until some clarity comes. It came to me this afternoon as I read and re-read what so many who cared about David said and wrote on his Facebook page.
There are so many questions that we want answers to. There are so many thoughts about what was and what could have been. Even what should have been. There are so many memories of good times and hopes for “soon” times. There are so many words, ideas and desires that were shared. But, that is where our grief and heartbreak crash headlong into our regret.
While it has been many years since I have seen David, I understand the emotions that come in moments like this. My brother-in-law also died in a car accident a year ago. He was 24 years old. I get it. I do. What makes these hours and days since David’s death so painful is the reminder that while many things WERE said, and many things WERE shared, there remains this feeling of “What I Should Have Said…” still lingering.
The questions that come to mind are like these:
All of these ideas run through our minds because the thought that something that should have been said was left unsaid begins to fray at the edges of our sanity. Regret is the constant reminder that something was left unfinished. There is something incomplete about all of this. Take it from me, don’t go there. Don’t do that. It won’t change anything. And it may do more harm than good.
What we have to do is to not let this tragedy be in vain. Would we prefer that David were here with us? Yes, there is no doubt about it. I don’t know of anyone that wouldn’t want that. But, we don’t get to make that choice. That one, that one choice, is outside of our reach. But, there is another choice that we can still make. It’s a choice that I think both honors David and helps us all to heal if we make it.
Make the decision to never again worry about, “What I Should Have Said.” Make the decision, that from today until the end of your days, you will strive to not leave any unfinished business. Right now, today, tell that someone, the one you are thinking about right now, who needs to hear from YOU that thing that you have been waiting for the “right” time to say.
There is no better time than now.
There will never be a better day, than today.
In Memory of
David Austin Balfour
September 5, 1979 – January 11, 2012
I woke up this morning to the news that a classmate was no longer walking this earth. We were acquaintances in high school, but we interacted often enough to get to know each other.
As I read the news on the internet and on his Facebook page I had a memory flash into my mind of us sitting in Mrs. Griswell’s Senior English class. I was sitting near the back of the room, the second row from the door. He was sitting in the first row next to the door, the third chair from the front, facing the rest of the class, with his classic grin. If you knew David, you know which one I’m talking about. There wasn’t a care in the world to him. I wished then that I could know what that felt like.
This is the first memory that came to mind this morning.
It would be a lie to say that I don’t know why I am so bothered by the news of David’s death. He is gone. No more status updates on Facebook. No more class reunions to attend. David’s journey on this earth has come to an end. And I am bothered.
I am bothered because I wish the circumstances were different. I am bothered because there were things left unsaid for those that knew him most and best. I am bothered because I really don’t have anything to say that will change the reality of what happened last night. But, I think what bothers me most is that I was reminded, yet again, that there is no guarantee of tomorrow for any of us. I don’t think David was thinking yesterday that he would not be here today. I don’t think that it even crossed his mind that January 11, 2012 was going to be his last day on Earth.
The fact that life is so fragile, so unpredictable should make all of us carefully consider what we invest our time into. The unexpected has happened…again. Losing someone we know or love cannot be avoided. We would just rather not think about it. But, today we don’t have that luxury. Today we are faced with David’s death and our mortality. Today we can’t avoid dealing with the reality of death and the eventuality of our own demise.
Days like today are difficult. The following words have helped me understand how I should respond and deal with the reality of events like David’s death. I share them here, not as an explanation of why this happened. That would be foolish. I share them to let all of us know that we are not alone in our grief and pain. Our sadness and contemplation. I hope that they help to provide some perspective.
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. [Source]
David, I hear the bell tolling.
In the movie Tangled, Rapunzel and Flynn Rider have finally arrived to see the moving “stars.” They share this exchange about what will happen after the lanterns go into the sky. Rapunzel is afraid that the moment will not live up to the expectations that she has had for 18 years. But, then there is another thought, what if it is everything that she hoped it would be? What would she do then?
Flynn’s response is wonderful in its simplicity. He says, “That’s the good part I guess. You get to go find a new dream.”
That is such a wonderful demonstration of what it means to have dreams, live them, and then move on to newer dreams.
What makes this scene even more powerful is that the king and queen continued to release their lantern every year in the hopes that their daughter would never forget that she was loved. The expressions on their faces, the hurt and love all mingled together. And then, as they approach the lantern the camera pans over the courtyard and you see the people of the kingdom. They have come to participate and help the king and queen commemorate this painful reality.
I am struck by these two dreams. Rapunzel’s dream of being close enough to the lanterns to know what they meant and to experience them for herself had pushed her to escape her tower prison. Her parent’s dreams of finding their daughter was also being expressed in their faithful dedication to remember their lost daughter. The parent’s dream was feeding and stirring the dream of their daughter.
This complex scene is so powerful because of the simple way that it was done. Even the subtle hint of the lanterns reminding you of Rapunzel’s hair is hard to escape.
The video is below. (You may have to follow the link to see it.)
I was watching some of the auditions from this past weeks X-Factor USA show on Fox. It was interesting to see the various reactions from the contestants. Those whose talent was not what the judges were looking for found their dreams of stardom, fame and riches dashed upon the rocks of the judges comments. Those whose talents did move the judges and audience found that many of their fears were unfounded and that their dreams could be attained.
While the sociologically interesting components of the X-Factor are a common thread with other shows of the “Reality Show” genre, there was something that struck me in a subtle way as I watched the critiques of each act. Why were so many of those that didn’t “have it” feel so crushed by the reality that their aspirations may have been misplaced? Could it be that, for whatever reason, someone was not willing to lovingly tell them that this may not have been for them? Even thinking these words seems so cruel. And yet, if we stay at this level we are failing to understand that there is something very real at work in these misguided motivations.
Within each of us there is a deep longing that must be satisfied. This longing is given to us by God, not so that we will be satisfied within our own selves, but rather that we might be satisfied in Him. Every heart, from the smallest child to the senior most member of society needs to have this longing satisfied. And sadly, too often we risk genuine satisfaction and allow ourselves to be fooled by a hopeless substitute.
What is this deep longing? Many of you have felt it. I have searched for it most of my life as I have struggled to make sense of who I am and what I am supposed to do. It is the longing that causes most people to sacrifice integrity, personality and even dignity.
This longing is AFFIRMATION.
What is affirmation? It is the simple and indispensable need of every person to know that their uniqueness is good! As I have watched these reality shows I have seen this common thread through them all. There are so many people in this world that need affirmation. They are looking for someone, for anyone, to tell them that they have something within them that needs to be shared.
The danger of these shows is that we have allowed the world’s value system to reduce to a few categories what should be considered as valuable. I, more than most people, would love to be able to sing with such power and passion that people would pay to hear me, but I don’t have that gift or talent. So, for me to seek affirmation in that way would be a futile and damaging endeavor.
I pray that those of us who have found our identity in Christ would stop perpetuating these false hopes and expectations upon the next generation. Until we do, we will not see the kind of living that God sent Jesus to this earth to provide for us.
I have provided the video of the audition that sparked these thoughts. Enjoy! This young lady is talented and potentially has a promising career in the entertainment industry. You can see upon her face what the words of affirmation do to raise the human spirit.
