We’re in the beginning of the 4th week of 2022. And I’m still processing why it doesn’t feel like the new year even happened…
I also wonder: Does anyone else feel that way or is it only me?
I don’t have any specific answers yet as to why. But as I’ve been spending time with God about it, and He gave me this image: a foggy hiking trail thru the forest.
This “hiking trail” actually represents a path I’ve been on with Jesus for a while now. It started well before the pandemic, but I just wasn’t aware of it until the lockdown in 2020 created the space for me to acknowledge it and begin exploring it with Him.
I’ve started talking about the path I’m on as wandering with Jesus.
Not because I’m lost. I’m not.
Mostly because Jesus isn’t lost and I’m walking with him. So he knows where we are going, even if I don’t.
But also because the wandering isn’t actually new, or without meaning. It’s a part of the path He’s always been trying to lead me on, in a very intentional way. I just wasn’t aware of it, so I couldn’t talk about it.
For too long in my relationship with Jesus, I saw feelings of wandering as problems to be solved. And now I know that’s never been the case…
I’ve been aware of my wandering with Jesus for a little while now. And I know many others are “waking up” to it too. I’ve spoken with so many who feel dismissed by “church leaders” because of their wandering.
And I just want to say: I’m sorry.
I’m more interested in finding ways to wander together than to “fix” the wandering anymore. Because I know, what Jesus wants for me is the relationship(s) along the way anyways.
And 2022 just brought something new to the wandering: fog.
Before I would have seen the fog as an obstacle to be overcome.
Something Jesus had to solve. Something He had to clear so we could get to where we were going.
But now that I’ve embraced the wandering, I realize now that’s not the purpose of the fog at all. And that it’s also not Jesus’ desire.
He wants me to focus on Him. Not what He can do for me.
The fog will likely slow us down on our walk. And that’s okay. That’s probably exactly what I need right now.
So if you find yourself in a place where the only way you know how to describe it is wandering – I get it. I’ve discovered this wandering has actually always been the plan all along. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s a path to focus me on what matters: the relationship(s).
I’m not sure what all 2022 will hold. But I do know it has started with a fog. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll help me slow down even more, so I can see even more clearly when it’s gone.
If you’re wandering with Jesus and looking for others who are too, I’m there with you. It might help not to wander alone. I’m glad I don’t feel like I am. I remember when I did.
Maybe 2022 for you will include finding others to wander with…I think it will for many people. If you want to explore what wandering with Jesus, with others could look like – reach out. There’s a number of us talking about that very thing right now.
I’m just thankful I’ve embraced this wandering with Jesus. Trying to solve it, like I used to do all those years ago, meant I missed out on so much of what He was wanting for me.
I’m looking forward to another year of wandering…but there’s some fog right now, so I’ll be taking it a little slower. Jesus has something for me in it.