Christian Life - Jeremiah's Vow

Re-personalizing God

Maybe you’ve heard the quote: “Many professing Christians, for all practical purposes, live as functional atheists…” – Dan DeWitt, Jesus or Nothing

Many times in today’s American Church culture we have been taught to de-personalize God and treat him in such a way that we are living as atheists even if we are talking like people of faith.

In fact, we have gotten so skilled at over-spiritualized language in the Church that we can convince others (and most times ourselves) that we are in a relationship that we are not actually in…

Depersonalizing God is like saying we are married but not actually living with our spouse.

Sure, on paper you may have a marriage license. But for all intents and purposes you are not actually married. You might call them your partner, but your lived experience says you are single.

This is what too many in the American Church have experienced, and then been told by someone that’s what a relationship with God is like.

And it’s an absolute tragedy.

I know, because “the faith that was delivered to me” looked a lot like that for too much of my life (as opposed to “the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints” spoken of in Jude 1:3).

I recognize the difficulty of relating to this God is who simultaneously incarnate and holy, personal and divine, and king and friend.

But that is the very task that is before us as the Church.

Making a distant-God normative for Christianity is not the solution. Yet many times this is done, whether intentionally or not.

One easy example would be in how we speak to God.

So many times we use “public” language, lofty words, or repetitive phrases. We throw requests at Him like he’s a vending machine or a genie. We “invoke” His presence like He’s the force.

Or some even “overcorrect” in a way that ironically creates the same problem by talking to him like they would text their boyfriend or girlfriend.

All of these things do not create the space to relate to God in the personal way He desires.

If we will allow Him, and follow in the well-worn pathways that generations of Christians before us have walked, He will lead us into the kind of relationship He so desires.

The problem seems to be that we mostly abandoned those well-worn paths.

We’ve “innovated” our faith into impersonal patterns that require things of God He does not necessarily desire of a relationship with Him.

There’s a dissonance going on when we depersonalize God. And we’ve got to re-personalize Him before we can do anything else for the kingdom.

We can begin by recovering the well-worn paths of the first disciples and early church.

We can eat meals together in one another’s home as means to share in the Eucharist.

We can pray together – pray over one another, pray for those we care about, pray about things we need, pray in thankfulness for all we have.

We can meditate on the Scriptures together – allowing each person to bring their full selves to the fullness of the Bible and seeing how God meets them in it.

We can be generous together by sharing when someone in our faith family has a need.

We can care for one another, forgive one another, listen to one another, and be the very hands, feet, and presence of Jesus to all those we encounter.

As we live out these very personal and communal ways of faith we will recover a relationship with the deeply personal and communal God we declare to know.

May we allow God to live with and among us in such a mysteriously personal way that those around us come to know Him just by being among us.

An open letter to “church experts” trying to lead the conversation on people “leaving”

Another good title would be: Why leaving a ministry job might be saving their souls, and why you should stop talking about them.

[If you haven’t read the pontifications of church “experts” about why people are leaving ministry jobs, then you can if you’d like. There are so many opinions on the stats out there and I’ve grown tired of reading them (just Google about Barna stats and “the Great Resignation”).]

To the Church Experts,

I am saddened by how you are talking about people leaving ministry jobs (or thinking about leaving).

It reveals a great deal of ignorance.

It also displays a great deal of insecurity.

One of the main evidences of these things is that the way you talk is simply a guilt trip clothed in Biblical language or “Christianeze.”

STOP SPEAKING BEFORE LISTENING

There are 3 main things I wish you would take time to explore by listening to those “leaving” before speaking any further about them:

1. Most are becoming ministers in a new way. They are not “leaving” ministry.

Framing what’s happening as “leaving ministry” reveals an unfortunate ignorance of what ministry is, who is expected to be in ministry, and where the locus of ministry takes place.

That people say phrases like this in general is lamentable enough.

But then that you would apply them to someone who is leaving a job working for a ministry is detrimental.

When you do this, you have just communicated to others that “real ministry” is only what happens when those who are in leadership and/or work for the ministry are doing it.

And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Too often I’ve seen you talk out of both sides of your mouth when it comes to this topic. You tell people to find their place in ministry generally, but then create a special category for those who are especially “qualified.”

As long as someone is following Jesus and living, they’re in ministry. It is just a question as to who they are in ministry to and with.

It’s a weird dynamic when “church experts” misunderstand, or simply contradict, their own teaching that everyone is a minister and we just have different roles within this thing called ministry.

A believer doesn’t leave ministry. They simply change contexts and roles.

For those who have left ministry jobs behind, they have not “left ministry.” And for you to say so as a supposed church expert only further reveals the ignorance that exists about what ministry is and who is “in ministry” among God’s people today.

2. Most are allowing their calling to be integrated into the rest of their lives. They are not “abandoning” a calling.

This is one point of contention that I am very passionate about.

There are two main issues I have with how people have been taught to understand calling (and they’re related): 1) too many people confuse their calling with their identity, and 2) too many never integrate their calling with the rest of their lives.

It’s ironic that these two issues seem divergent and yet are not in the least.

Your calling is not who you are.

Who you are is foundational. Your calling builds upon that.

And if you haven’t dealt with that, then your calling becomes the tail wagging the dog. And it creates all sorts of confusion and pain.

It also typically means you’ve separated out your calling from the rest of your life.

A whole person who starts with the foundation of who they are being the most important thing to God, is then fully capable of understanding their calling as an integrated part of their life.

People aren’t “called to ministry” as separate from “called to their family.” These aren’t competing values for someone who correctly understands and lives into what God is calling them to. They are one and the same.

And so, just like the last point, when understood correctly, someone is not actually abandoning a calling. They might stop living out that calling in a certain way. But the calling isn’t gone.

They may have misunderstood it, confused it with their identity, or separated it out from their entire life. But they haven’t abandoned it.

The pain caused by how you “church experts” are misspeaking about the concept of calling is causing trauma upon trauma upon trauma in most people’s lives who are leaving a ministry job.

When you tell them they have abandoned their calling, it only retraumatizes them or causes them new trauma to the already difficult circumstances of changing careers.

The pain that’s being caused by your words when you actually think you’re helping is heartbreaking.

3. Most are courageously following Jesus by doing what they’ve challenged others to do for years: to live out their faith in a non-Christian workplace and community.

The absolute craziest part of the confusion you’re causing as “church experts” in this conversation is the fact that when someone leaves a ministry job and becomes a person following Jesus out in the workforce, they become the very thing you continually give lip service to being the most important thing a Christian can be: a missionary.

The person leaving a ministry job is simply following to its logical conclusion the single most important theological belief we hold to as Christians: incarnation.

They are locating themselves, with all the skills they’ve developed to care for people (pastor), to convey truths in relevant ways (teacher), to walk with someone thru coming to know Jesus (evangelist), to speak in love the mysteries of God (prophet), and to do it among people who may never come to know God unless someone goes to where they are (apostle).

They’re literally embodying out in the world the entirety of the gifts God has given to the Church by making the very decision you are now critiquing them for making.

This is not only confusing to the person going thru it [who feels like they’re actually doing what the Gospel compels them to do like every other Christian in the world], but it is also confusing to every other Christian who has been told to live as a missionary out in the world yet are watching the person leaving a ministry job being shamed for becoming a missionary.

The way you “church experts” have spoken about those leaving (or thinking about leaving) has created such a convoluted context for this conversation that it’s nearly impossible to even have it anymore.

It’s angering if I’m honest.

I have sympathy for you as you’re trying to do your best to wrestle with something you were wrongly taught, but unfortunately you are now becoming the one wrongly teaching it.

STOP KICKING THEM WHILE THEY ARE DOWN

All of this doesn’t even get into the emotional and spiritual damage that’s being done to people “on their way out.”

You “church experts” consistently lament how difficult it is to be in ministry, how ministry leaders get wrongly critiqued by others, and how people need to support ministry leaders during these difficult times…

But then you turn around and kick them while they’re down…and that shouldn’t be lost on anyone.

It’s “church-culture acceptable” spiritual abuse honestly. And I won’t refrain from calling it that.

I’ve been the recipient of it. And I will not remain silent on behalf of those who have made such a difficult decision to only be abused in the process.

STOP DE-PERSONALIZING WHAT IS HAPPENING

I’m in ongoing conversations with at least a dozen people who have left ministry jobs over the last 2 years. Each of them have left for varying reasons. To lump them all together as a statistic would be to miss what is actually happening in this moment in the Church in America.

Each story of those I speak with are as uniquely beautiful and complicatedly gut-wrenching as the next.

And you’ve missed the whole point of the Gospel if you don’t treat them as such.

If instead you just lob your opinion out there as a grenade, with no awareness of the damage you’re doing, then you are no church expert to begin with. And why people are giving you a platform as if you are one is beyond my comprehension.

The church should not simply be an organization that provides a severance package on the way out.

It should be a family that says “we will see you at the next reunion.”

This depersonalizing of people’s stories of why they are leaving ministry jobs is disheartening. And for those of you perpetuating these kinds of conversations, I beg you to stop.

You are not being Christ in their lives in this moment.

You are instead being a Pharisee that is heaping burdens upon them.

[Side note: most of what I’ve said in this blog post could also be applied to how too many established church pastors are talking about church members who have “left.” The guilt trips laced with Biblical language. The spiritual abuse of kicking them while they’re down. I’ve seen all of it the last couple years and it’s sickening.]

And for those who are reading this who have left or are considering leaving a ministry job, here’s a prayer I offer you during such a difficult season:

Be kind to Your little children, Lord; that is what we ask of You as their Tutor, You the Father, Israel’s guide; Son, yes, but Father as well. Grant that by doing what You told us to do, we may achieve a faithful likeness to the Image and, as far as is possible for us, may find in You a good God and a lenient Judge.

May we all live in the peace that comes from You. May we journey towards Your city, sailing through the waters of sin untouched by the waves, borne tranquilly along by the Holy Spirit, Your Wisdom beyond all telling. Night and day until the last day of all, may our praises give You thanks, our thanksgiving praise You: You who alone are both Father and Son, Son and Father, the Son who is our Tutor and our Teacher, together with the Holy Spirit.

– St Clement of Alexandria, 150–215 AD

Check out the Jesus Took Naps Podcast

There is so much about Jesus and his earthly life that looked like everyone else around them. But, we too often dismiss this or simply don’t pay attention to it.

My friend Drew Anderson, a contributor to Jeremiah’s Vow, and I have started the Jesus Took Naps Podcast. A podcast that looks at the remarkably ordinary life of Jesus. We will look at how Jesus’s life can teach us how to live ours today.

Click on the image and go to the podcast site. You will be able to listen on a variety of podcast platforms.

The Jesus Took Naps Podcast. A Remarkably Ordinary Podcast

We will be discussing the remarkably ordinary life of Jesus Christ. This is a concept we have been mulling over and discussing for some time. What we have discovered is that in our own lives we have missed the simplicity of who Jesus was and what Jesus did. Our hope is to recapture some of that.

There is so much about Jesus and his earthly life that looked like everyone else around them. But, we too often dismiss this or simply don’t pay attention to it. Our lives have become busier than we have time for. More congested than we have the capacity to manage. And we have become more concerned with short-term achievements and lost sight of long-term realities.

On the Jesus Took Naps Podcast, we want to change that. We will talk about the simple realities of living a life of faith as well as the practical challenges of living in the world.

We want to invite you to join us as we talk, think, pray, and consider what it means to live a remarkably ordinary life. Just like Jesus did!

Choir Anthem Medley – POA Worship (ft. Vonnie Lopez)

Choir Anthem Medley | BOTT 2022 | POA Worship (feat. Vonnie Lopez) [Live]

Personal Accountability

¹Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” ²And again, she bore his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a worker of the ground. ³In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, ⁴and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, ⁵but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. ⁶The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? ⁷If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to you, but you must rule over it.”
⁸Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. ⁹Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?” ¹⁰And the Lord said, “What have you done? The voice of your brother’s blood is crying to me from the ground.
Genesis 4:1-10

Introduction

The story of Cain and Abel is a powerful reminder of how fragile human relationships can be. Even when those relationships are within a family. The Story is also a sad one because it captures the first instance of one person taking the life of another.

Life is a precious gift. It is one that we do not always appreciate. But we become aware of its value when we lose a loved one or when we fear losing our own life. In many ways, this is what makes the story of Cain and able so tragic. Not only is a family broken, not only our brothers at out with each other but in the reversible act sets in motion severe consequences.

Personal accountability is something we learn to do as we mature. But it is something we must learn to do.
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One of the challenges we all must encounter in life is understanding that every choice we make will have consequences. Some consequences are easier to see. But most consequences to the choices we make may go unnoticed. This is why we should do all we can to be wise and how we conduct ourselves.

The story of Cain and Abel and how God confronts Cain about his actions is a powerful reminder. Not only must we all give an account for our lives but we will give an account for how we treated others. We cannot control what other people do. What we can do is do all we can to live a life that is consistent with God’s character.

With this in mind let’s see what we can glean from the events that took place in the Scripture above.

I. Why did God ask Cain the question, “Where is your Brother?”

I’ve always found God’s question became to be interesting. But when we consider the question in light of who God is and what he knows we can see that the purpose of the question was for the benefit of the reader.
When God asked Cain where his brother was, was it because the God didn’t know? No.
- Did God want to see if Cain knew where Able was? No, God already knew where Able was.
- When God asked the question he is not seeking information. Usually when God asks a question it’s to test if we will acknowledge that he already knows. To see if we will lie or tell the truth.
Was it because God wasn’t sure? No, God was not surprised by what Cain had done.
- Often times we read the Bible we do so based on incorrect assumptions.
- If when we read the Bible we assume that God is seeking information we will arrive at incorrect conclusions. As I said above when God asked the question he is clarifying something for the person he is questioning.
God asks the question to reveal Cain’s, and ultimately our own inclination to lie about what we’ve done.
- When we are confronted by what we have done we are not all that quick to admit it.

II. There is no place where we can go to hid from God.

If there is one thing we should learn to accept as followers of Christ and believers of God is that there is no place where we can go that God is not already there.
- And while this my cause anxiety for some and concern for others, it should really be reason to be thankful.
- We should be thankful there is no reason to lie to God. Even when we end up doing it anyway.
We shouldn’t even try to do it. But we do and this is where most of us make a critical mistake in our relationship with God.
- The mistake we make is thinking that if we confess to God that God’s opinion of us will change. But if he already knows and he still desires to have a relationship with us, that our confidence in God’s grace and mercy should increase. Not decrease.
David understood this. What he rights in Psalm 139 can be very scary because of what it implies for us.
Read Psalm 139:1-12

O Lord, You have searched me and known me. ²You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. ³You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. ⁴For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. ⁵You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. ⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.
⁷Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? ⁸If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. ⁹If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, ¹⁰Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. ¹¹If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; ¹²Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
NKJV

David’s recognition that there is no place where we can go to hide from God’s presence should encourage us to accept that there is no place we need to go to hide from his presence.
- To be in God’s presence is to be where we should long to be at all times.

III. Personal Accountability is about accepting that nothing is hidden and that truth and honesty are always the best way to respond to God.

This is not always easy. As a matter of fact it is pretty hard to do. But that is the challenge.
We may be accountable to many different people for different reasons (work, school, parents, boy/girlfriend).
In the end we are accountable to God and what it is He wants from and for us in our lives.
Cain’s response to God betrayed him because Cain knew that he was his brother’s keeper.
- There was no hiding it. Anything other than acceptance of this fact was a lie, not so much to the world, but to himself.
I think that Cain knew the moment he asked the question that he was wrong. Cain’s concerns that when others heard what he had done he would be in danger where real.

Conclusion

Personal accountability is something we learn to do as we mature. But it is something we must learn to do. When we don’t we will find ourselves responding to God the way that Cain did. We will know that we have done wrong but because of our guilt and shame, we will try to keep her from God.

Originally Delivered on Sunday, January 21, 2007. It has been edited and expanded.

Personal Responsibility

⁶So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. ⁷Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths.
⁸And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ⁹But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” ¹⁰And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” ¹¹He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” ¹²The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” ¹³Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
Genesis 3:6-13

Introduction

The story of the Fall of humanity in the Garden of Eden is the opening scene in the story of God’s work of redemption. That may seem an odd way of saying it. But, if you stop and think about it, it’s true. If God had decided that he was going to start again, we would not have the story!

The fact we do have this retelling of what happened is evidence that God had a greater purpose in mind. He was not dismayed or discouraged by what happened. I would even say God was prepared for it.

In light of God’s grace to continue working with the human race, we can ask some questions about what does it look like to be held responsible for our mistakes? In particular, I wonder how we make sense of what God said and did when he confronted the first couple?

As we consider these questions, I am sure others will come up. And as they do, feel free to write them down and let me know. I would be interested in considering them as well.

The subject of personal responsibility can be difficult to address. Not because we don’t all have an instinctive sense of what should happen. It is difficult because we are not always eager to apply the same standard to ourselves!

If we are ever going to mature as people; to grow in wisdom we have to do our best to not pass off the consequences of our choices to others. We have to accept that our actions were the catalyst for what ended up happening.

With this in mind, I think the story of the Fall provides us with an excellent backdrop for a conversation about Personal Responsibility.

I. Who was responsible for what happened in the Garden of Eden?

Who is the one that is most often blamed for what happened in the garden?
The one responsible was Adam.
- It was to Adam to whom God had given the authority to care and tend for the garden and everything in it. This responsibility included Eve, his wife.
This story is less about who is to blame and more about what happens when we as individuals fail to take our responsibilities seriously.
The story of the fall has to do with fulfilling the responsibility or responsibilities God has given to each one of us.

II. What is responsibility?

In short, it is the ability to respond to what is presented to me.
- Example 1: If I see a car approaching someone who does not see it, I have a responsibility to warn the person in danger.
- Example 2: If I see a car approaching someone who does not see it, but I am at home and don’t see the car, then I can’t be responsible for warning the person in danger. I don’t have the ability to respond to a danger I am not aware of.
We should begin to look around at the different areas of our lives to see where I have the ability to respond, and then take the necessary steps to change what needs to be changed.
When we assume responsibility for something completely out of our control, we also feel guilt for something we had no power to change, or even influence.

III. Most of what we get ourselves into is our fault.

Take more initiative in ordering your life by God’s ways and commands rather than your own. (Ps. 37:23-24)
The first place to look when something begins to go in a way we didn’t want or plan is to look at ourselves. We must then decide if we are following the will of God in it or not.
Until we make this assessment, we will do our own thing, and the blame God for it.

Originally Delivered on Sunday, January 14, 2007. It has been edited and expanded.

Sometimes what you need…

Sometimes what you need is for someone who loves you to show up. To hold you up when all you want to do is crash.

Sometimes what you need is for someone who loves you to show up. To hold you up when all you want to do is crash. Allowing you to finish what you started, even when the “best” thing would be for you to stop.

There are few story’s that can really capture the power of love and the grit of courageous determination. The Derek Redmond story is one of them.

Many are familiar with this almost mythical tale. But for those who are not it goes like this.

Sometimes what you need is for someone who loves you to show up. To hold you up when all you want to do is crash.
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Derek Redmond was an olympic sprinter from Great Britain. In 1988 his hopes of olympic glory were dashed due to an injury to his achilles tendon. For the next four year he trained for another opportunity to compete on the olympic stage. In that time he also had several surgeries due to injury.

When the 1992 Olympics came around, Derek did well enough to qualify for the olympic team. In the semi-final of the 400 meter sprint, he looked like he would do well enough to go on to the finals. But with about half of the distance left to finish, Derek’s hamstring tore, taking him to the ground.

In what can only be described as shear determination, he got up and tried to hobble his way to the finish line. With each step the pain in his leg increased. With each step his will to finish growing weaker.

Then, from out of stands, an older man is seen coming onto the track. Ignoring security, pushing them aside, the man made his way to Redmond.

That man was Derek Redmond’s father, Jim.

While fighting back tears and enduring the pain of a torn muscle Derek and his father made their way to the finish line.

All those years of training and whatever aspirations of olympic glory there may have been, they ended that day. On that track.

But a different story was written. One that inspired countless millions since that fateful day and became a living testimony to the power of love.

Sometimes what you need is for someone who loves you to show up. To hold you up when all you want to do is crash.

We all want to believe that we can do it on our own. That we can make it in this world without the help of others.

But every now and then, when the world in which we live sends us what feel like insurmountable obstacles, someone steps in and gives us the helping hand we need to finish.

The story of Derek Redmond is great, not because he finished first and won the gold.

The story of Derek Redmond is great because he endured to the end of the race. Fighting back tears, suffering through pain, and with a little help from his dad.

Derek Redmond's Emotional Olympic Story - Injury Mid-Race | Barcelona 1992 Olympics

Regaining Focus in an unclear World

Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper, and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? Peter seeing him saith to Jesus, Lord, and what shall this man do? Jesus saith unto him, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me. Then went this saying abroad among the brethren, that that disciple should not die: yet Jesus said not unto him, He shall not die; but, If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?
John 21:20-23 KJV

Introduction

At the start of every year whether people follow through with it or not it has become accustomed to setting out resolutions what we will accomplish in the new year. One of the greater challenges of following through with these resolutions is that oftentimes we pick things that will require greater changes than we are really prepared to do. We have not really learned that smaller changes over a longer period of time can provide lasting changes for the rest of our lives.

One of the struggles that we will have as we strive to leave a mark in this year is to seek a renewed focus for our lives. If we are not deliberate in our actions we can run the risk of missing what God has in store for us. Today I want to talk with you about regaining focus in an unclear world.

There are so many mixed messages being sent by the world in which we live. We have to do a better job of figuring out how to live our lives in a Christ-like way in a world that doesn’t want to have any part in that. How do we regain focus? How do we get our lives back on a road that will bring us closer to God?

Obey what Jesus has said

The first commitment we should make is Christians in this new year is to obey what Jesus said. I will grant it is not always easy to do what Jesus says. It isn’t easy because doing what Jesus says requires that we acknowledge that He has spoken. We are all on a journey to find meaning and significance. We all are looking for ways of making our lives count. So we make friends and we start families. We get involved in the community and we look for careers that will be fulfilling. We tell ourselves that if we do these things we will find happiness.

But no matter what we do doubt will linger in our minds. “Is this enough?” It is so hard to see what we need to do most of the time, but God desires to be a part of that process. God is looking for you and me to turn to Him and say, “God, I want to have a life filled with meaning and purpose. But I need you if I’m going to get there.” And do you know what He did? He sent Jesus.

Jesus was and is God’s way of saying I want to be a part of your life if you will let me. I find myself rededicating my life to Christ on a regular basis. Why? I do it because I make mistakes. I let people down. I let myself down. I’m not perfect. And it is only when I turn my life over to Him that I know I will be all right? Do you need to give your life to him today? Do you need to recommit your life to Jesus today?

When I look at the story here at the end of John I am reminded that we have to obey what Jesus says. We can’t go and do what we think that Jesus has said. If we do what we think He said we will get hurt and we will hurt others in the process. Our good intentions go wrong when we don’t follow the instructions. Peter had not been restored to fellowship long before he was concerned about somebody else’s status with God. When we fail to obey what Jesus has said we go and do foolish things. This is not something new. It’s something that has been going on from the very first moment that God breathed life into Adam.

Don’t underestimate your own struggles

The second commitment we should make is that we should not underestimate our own struggles. If we want to regain focus we have to be willing to admit that we have struggles. I don’t like to admit it, but if I want to have a chance at enjoying my life I can’t go and stick my head in the sand. Life is hard. We have to account for other people, what they say, what they do, what they mean. I have to account for my actions and how I will react in those situations when I deal with other people.

We have mortgages to pay, jobs to deal with, bosses to please, families to maintain, cars to fix, recitals to go to, students to teach, children to rear, and churches to build. Life is complicated. Because of this, we can’t afford to underestimate our struggles, because any wrench could bring the whole thing to a halt.

I don’t know about you, but some days are a real struggle. Trying to make the right choices, trying to live a good life. I really don’t have the time to be focusing my energy and effort on making sure other people are doing what they are supposed to be doing. If I were to spend my time trying to do this I would go insane.

Not everyone sees things the way that I do. Not everyone is interested in what I am interested in. Not everyone that I come in contact with on a daily basis holds the same things dear that I do. This is all part of the struggle that I must deal with. And yet I find myself in the same situation as Peter. I start looking around wondering, “What about Him?” I have to seek to do the best that I can with what God has given me. And I should do this with the sincere prayer that God would use what I give for His glory.

The comparison game is such a dangerous way to live our lives. God does not compare us to anyone else except Jesus. And that the standard is difficult enough on its own.

Compare yourself to Christ, Not to “John”

The third commitment we should make is to compare ourselves to Jesus and not to “John”. One of the most harmful decisions you can make is to try and compare yourself to someone else. When we compare ourselves to those around us we make assumptions about the other person that may not be true. But the assumptions that could be the most troublesome are the ones that you make about yourself. It doesn’t matter whether the comparison is positive or negative. Whether we are making ourselves better or worse. Do you know what the biggest problem with comparing ourselves to “John” is? We are comparing ourselves to the wrong person.

We too often get caught up in what is going on in other people’s lives at the expense of what is happening in our own. Peter wanted to know what was going to happen to John because he did not want to get any less than what John was getting. We are not here to compete with one another. We are not here to best one another and try to see who can do more for the church than the person next to us.

I think that this boils down to the way that we are taught about success. We are taught and told that success is competition. We have to do better than the person next to us if we want to get that promotion. We have to work harder if we want to get ahead. And what ends up happening is that we all have to maintain where we are just so we don’t fall behind. If we try to keep up with those that are around we will lose sight of something much more important, keeping up with Jesus.

There is a chorus that helps me to put aside that tendency to want to look across the aisle to see how I’m doing against so and so. The chorus says, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the life of His glory and grace.”

Commitment:

If you need to give your life to Jesus for the first time or if you need to give your life again do it today. You can pray something like this:

Jesus, I am not perfect. I need you to come into my life and help me to regain the right focus in my life. Help me to obey your word, help me to identify the areas of my life where I struggle, and let me look to you to see how I’m doing. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

Originally Delivered in 2004. It has been edited and expanded.

Who’s Driving Your Emotions?

When others use our emotions either against us or for their own goals, they are not trustworthy sources of counsel.

God gave us emotions to serve as brakes. Not the gas pedal. But there seems to be a growing epidemic of emotional pedal confusion¹ in our world. Then, unironically, people are surprised by the carnage and chaos that results.

Watch out for those who are constantly pressing the gas on your emotions. They are not trying to help you. They are using you. Controlling you. And you should ask yourself why you let them.

What’s worse is those people are doing you a disservice and spiritual harm. When others use our emotions either against us or for their own goals, they are not trustworthy sources of counsel. I will grant that not all people who do this may have malicious or nefarious objectives, but the end will be the same. We have to become more discerning in who we allow that kind of influence in our lives.

This happens in the church. At your workplace. On the news. In your family. And especially on social media. It’s going to happen anywhere two people interact.

But, learning to be a steward of your own heart is the key to becoming free from these tactics. It can be challenging to set up healthy barriers. But doing is so is an essential part of growing emotionally and spiritually.

One of the most important disciplines we can cultivate is reflection. Taking the time to think about what is happening in and around your life. Slowing down long enough to make sure you are going where you planned and doing those things that are healthy and good.

When we reflect on those moments and events that caused us emotional frustration, we begin to discern how we respond to different stimuli. This is how we grow.

It’s one thing to be passionate. But it’s quite another to have your passions enslaved. And even more dangerous when our passions are used for the purposes of another’s agenda. We can be so passionate about something we can’t actually change we lose sight of who we are in the process. This is a recipe for being deceived and misled.

It’s one thing to be committed to a cause. But it’s quite another to give blind allegiance to anything. Particularly anything that does not provide a path toward forgiveness and reconciliation.

Too many people can no longer tell the difference. Why? Because they have invested too much of themselves into what they are promoting. And no one wants to admit they are wrong. That they may have been misled. Or even manipulated.

When our identity is subsumed into another’s or into a cause, no matter how noble its purported aims, we will become cogs in someone else’s machine. This is not how we are to live our lives. We should not surrender our personhood to anyone or anything. Who we are is a gift from God. To give ourselves in a way that only rightly belongs to God to anyone or anything earthly is a form of idolatry.

Good intentions are not good enough. Good intentions are the internal reasons for why we act. And it’s important to have them. I will not deny that. Wanting positive results can be and is commendable.

The challenge is recognizing whether or not those intentions actually produce the intended results. If they don’t, and we continue to do those things that are inflicting obvious harm, then we have become the very thing we were trying to oppose. Our intentions have to be evaluated by the results they produce. Otherwise, we will give ourselves, and others, a pass on their actions when the results are negative.

Judas had good intentions. But he ended up betraying the Son of God. And Peter had good intentions, but when confronted with his association with Jesus he denied Him three times. One could not forgive himself, the other found forgiveness he didn’t deserve.

Our intentions should not be the metric we use to evaluate what we do. What results from our actions should be. And the results must be under constant evaluation.

Steps for Reflection

Because learning how to reflect on our lives and our responses is so important, I’ve asked my friend and contributor to this site to provide us with a simple pattern we can use. There is also an example below. When you find yourself feeling like you are not clear about a reaction you had to an event or situation go through the following steps.

1. What emotion do I feel the strongest right now?

(If you’re having trouble identifying it, use a feelings wheel – you can find one fairly easily on Google)

*Express your emotion to God, be specific about why you feel that way.

2. What might God want to say to me in the midst of that emotion?

(It can be helpful to use the Psalms in this case – Google the emotion you feel and the word “Psalm” and see if you find one that you identify with)

*Pray, listening to what God might say about that emotion to you.

3. What is a healthy way to express that emotion to those around me?

(This might be the step that requires you to talk with a trusted mentor in the faith – despite a culture that wants you to react immediately)

*Act on the emotion in a Christlike way that displays empathy and humility.

Example:

Someone shares an example of injustice in the world that is horrible.

1. What emotion do I feel the strongest right now?

Anger. Specifically frustrated and infuriated.

*God, I am angry about this injustice. Why would such a thing be allowed?! Do something!

2. What might God want to say to me in the midst of that emotion?

I see examples of anger about injustice in several Psalms, so I read those Psalms.

*It seems like God is saying it’s okay to be angry over such things, to trust Him that He will enact justice, and to seek Him on how to participate in His justice.

3. What is a healthy way to express that emotion to those around me?

I think about a humble and empathetic way to respond in my context. I seek the advice of trusted mentors.

*I commit myself to on-going prayer and periodic fasting concerning this injustice. I decide to start a petition to change the laws and I contact lawyers and politicians to begin making changes.

Footnotes:

¹ Pedal confusion is the phrase used to describe when a driver presses the wrong pedal while driving. Usually leading to an accident.

God’s Commands are Near to Us

The commandments of God are not difficult to know. But they may be challenging to perform.

¹¹“For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. ¹²It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ ¹³Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ ¹⁴But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.
Deuteronomy 30:11-14 ESV

The commandments of God are not difficult to know. But they may be challenging to perform. We too often confuse the two. The more we grow in our understanding of what God has desired, the greater our ability to live in God’s will and under God’s blessing.

The passage here is interesting for a couple of reasons. First, in the passage, we are reminded that we spend too much time trying to hear from God something new. But, we overlook and even diminish what God has already said. We should not be constantly asking God to speak some new insight or revelation for our lives. We should rather be looking at what has already been said, and ask, “Is this reality present in my life today?” An additional question we could ask is this: “How consistently am I living this reality out?”

the second reason this passage is interesting is it identifies where these commandments are (or should be!). The commandments are “in your mouth and in your heart.” Wow!

I don’t know about you, but that really convicts me. Is this true in my life? Is this true OF my life?

If God’s commandments are not in my mouth or in my heart can I honestly say that I am living as I should? I know this may not make us feel comfortable, but maybe that’s the point. We should be convicted by this.

Not for one second do I believe this is supposed to make us feel bad. But it might. And if it does, we should not run from it. We should ask ourselves, why? Why do I continue doing what I know is not helping draw me closer to God? There may be a million reasons. Only you know yours.

A final thought about this passage is that it clearly details what we should be doing and why. But it also helps us to understand the promises attached to our obedience. When we understand our part in hearing and doing what God commands we will feel and experience the nearness of God.

The link between obedience and our growing awareness of God’s presence can be missed if we are not careful. It is in obedience that we know God is near. Why? Because our obedience is how God knows we are serious about our relationship with him. He doesn’t forsake when we falter. But, when we obey, all the other distractions are removed so we can more fully experience how near God really is.